Tips for a Fun, Not-Too-Scary Halloween
Scary Safe, Not Scary Scary
I once had a mentor in graduate school who said something I’ll never forget: there’s a big difference between “scary safe” and “scary scary.” Every Halloween, I find myself thinking about what that really means.
Children are often drawn to a little fear, peeking through their fingers at the spooky parts, but they also need to feel safe. “Scary safe” stories and play let them experience fear in a way that feels manageable. It's the kind of fear that helps children build confidence instead of panic.
Here are 5 ways to help your little one enjoy all the fun of Halloween without feeling too scared:
🎃 Acknowledge real fears:
Let your little one know it’s okay to be scared. Naming fear helps it shrink.
🎃 Show what's actually pretend:
Talk about masks, costumes, and makeup, and maybe even make a mask together to show how it works. When your little one sees that behind every mask is just a regular person, it helps them feel safe and in control.
🎃 Plan your Halloween wisely:
Before heading out, make a simple “Happy Haunt” map together. Mark which houses look friendly and fun, and skip the ones that feel too spooky.
🎃 Balance fear with laughter:
Funny stories and silly moments can turn tension into giggles and calm. Here are two Halloween stories that we love & recommend.
Room on the Broom Go Away Big Green Monster
🎃 Progress, not perfection:
If trick-or-treating feels like too much, put on some Halloween music and set up treat stations around your home.
Whatever you do, remember that when fear feels safe, children learn that being brave can also be fun.
I wish you all a Halloween filled with laughter, curiosity, and connection.
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